Hospital April 2 2013

Went to the hospital on Friday afternoon due to severe pain in my head

The pain has been there for over a month, maybe a level 5 on their pain scale

Normally I can cope with a level 5 but when you are at that level of pain for over a month, nonstop and you have other things in your life that press in on you…

It becomes harder to cope

With the changes in weather and all the pain, even sleeping did not take the pain away

I got ahold of the hubby and he took me to the ER, I knew the pain was going to get worse and it did

Because we already have been working with the neurologist and the specialist from internal medicine, I was able to get “seen” earlier than others in the ER

It still takes ages

They left me alone, on a bed, in a small room off the main waiting area

The pain got worse

They tell you that the pain is only allowed on a scale of 1 to 10 but at points the pain went higher than a simple 10

When you live with chronic pain, it becomes easier to deal with than a person who lives a “normal” life

My average pain level is a 3 and I don’t know what it is like to live without pain anymore

Anyway… in that room, the pain got worse

At points I couldn’t lay still and try to relax or sleep

My body would curl up in the fetal position or elongate and my legs would push against objects

I couldn’t control the sounds I made and I lost the ability to speak French

At one point I tried to get one of the guys that had been checking up on me, to understand the idea of hot and cold, using his hand on a cold object but he didn’t get it

My brain was on fire

I could barely walk

The guy just didn’t understand and I wasn’t sure if he would come back with someone who spoke English

I had already left the bed at one point, going on my knees at the window and pressing my hands, wrists and forehead to the cold glass to help me cool down but I needed more

I grabbed my cane and forced myself to walk the distance to the front desk

I was in the middle of a flare up and could barely control my body

The women at the emergency desk watched in horror as I came closer… I don’t blame them, I must have been a mess

Leaning heavily on the counter, my eyes closed, I used the last of my abilities and spoke French to tell them I was losing my ability to speak French and that my brain was on fire

That I needed help

After that I lurched back to my “room” and knelt down at the window again, trying to find the cold spots

Someone came with an ice pack and that helped but in that moment… my pain was so high that a 10 would still have been too low to describe

I am sure that had I not been able to cool down soon, I would have had a seizure like when I was a little kid after taking the immunization shots

Having a room readied for me in neurology, they took me there and tried to find a vein for my IV line

Sadly my veins are thin and it was hard to get one to behave for the nurse

First my hand

Then two more tries in the forearm

That last one seemed to have worked a bit but not enough

They fed me drugs which helped me sleep and it was that which lowered the pain

Sunday I couldn’t stand being in the hospital

The IV line had been causing me pain and minor swelling in the arm and hand

I couldn’t fully close my hand due to the inflammation but everyone said not to worry

Sunday was the first time I was lucid, I was also panicking and bitching because I could barely speak French anymore and no one was taking me seriously

I went home on the condition that I would come back Monday night for tests and a Dr visit Tuesday morning

Sadly nothing could be done over the weekend and since it was Easter weekend, nothing could happen till Tuesday

So now it is Tuesday and I still have a level 5 pain in my head

I have seen the doctor and his orbiting satellites (younger doctors in training who seem to hover around like they are lost in space), seems he had the bright idea to train his minions on me and my roommate

He should have read the case files, my chart, even if he didn’t have his underlings read it

The doctor is young, aggressive, talks too fast and triggered a panic attack

I called hubby to help and finally the doctor understood more of the details that I couldn’t answer

His one minion kept pissing me off, she just could not hold still, always fidgeting or touching her hair or swinging her body or some other thing

That kind of behavior doesn’t instill confidence in the patient and depending on the level of pain, it actually makes things worse … too much activity causes more pain

Hopefully I will have answers soon and lunch …

It’s so weird seeing all these young people walking the halls in lab coats

Like teens playing some part in a high school play

It’s hard to take them seriously when they wear jeans and skater shoes or jelled up hair

I know I shouldn’t judge them but they have a youthful arrogance that proves me right




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