June 19 2013

brain is in so much pain

everything is starting to bother me

people talk too loud and cant have full conversations, you know those things about verbs and nouns and all the things you have to have to MAKE a full conversation

it is too hot

i did too much today

took myself and my 15yr old to the doctor to get more medication, i was out of ketum (pain thing) 

it is annoying

when i was at the hospital on friday june 14th (melt down due to emotial/mental abuse in the home, story for another day) i had talked with some therapist guy and some other person about wanting my son’s brain scanned

he had been stressing for a while, trying to hold a panic attack in and deal with the situation at hand

he ended up in very bad head pain, his eye looked like he had been punched and it was blue and his body was decently normal temp but his head was overheating

that is what i go through a lot

when the docs scanned my brain with a PET, the noticed i had reduced oxygen flow to or through the brain

well… he IS my son, why not check to see if he has something similar to me

and today i ask the doc about this

i am not going back to that doc

i dont care how charming he is or how he can be funny

i am tired of him telling me no for everything and treating me like a hypochondriac 

sure i understand the risks of bombarding my son with radiation blah blah blah

i also know the risks of doing jack shit about it

staying call all day when i just wanted to vent at the guy… bah not easy

and there has been flooding

rain for a while now but last night and today where very bad

lots of areas where you could barely drive

my son ended up saving 3 kittens for one of the local cats


did i mention i am in pain and would severely love snuggles, affection, a good cry and some ice cream



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